I have probably been building up to this. Bread crumbing mother fuckers like a I am some shite reality show you can't help but watch because the train wreck every episode makes you feel better about yourself. Not knocking the dating shows on Netflix and MTV either.... They are on fucking on point. I guess I am just complimenting one another for good taste before I completely make myself sound bananas. Lulling you into some false sense of security before I ask, am I crazy? ...Because I think I am crazy. Now that we have accepted intelligent non-human entities have entered our reality - peep the news - I feel relatively comfortable to say I believe there are ways things communicate to us that go beyond vocal or sign language ..... or hieroglyphics .... or telekinesis....other various forms of communication. You know how hippies believe the planet is talking to them? THIS is one of them. In a fucked way - I believe we are given signs in various forms that we feel are within our every day "normal". For example - content. I stumble upon things that I feel "speak to me". Maybe comparing it to how art speaks to individuals helps? Maybe that makes things more digestible? Or maybe I lost you at this point and you're just like. "..Pete, homie, batshit crazy." I get it. I GET IT. It's not lost on me. But I am relatively self aware. Like I know individuals reading this will judge. Question. Who the fuck does this dude think he is. OR... "...industry got him. He's nuts." So when I question - in all honesty, I am just selfishly saying if you ever feel like the universe told you or is telling you something - Like if that random song popped on in a store and you felt something - I believe that is real. Or whatever/whoever you feel told you something - I believe you. So in this regard... I believe if you consume a lot of content (audio/visual) - the universe starts to communicate to you through that. I have been frequenting that a lot since my father's passing. Looking for some kind of sign. Recently I have been receiving a variety of things - a lot involving my sisters. My friends. My "home." Myself. Maybe this is my second existential crisis where I discover purpose while also realizing I've known the type of love I have always wanted? One can only hope the universe is saying as much. But seriously.... with the official introduction of intelligent life, how could it not make you question then truly what is the "higher" power and how do they communicate? ANYWAY - back to my spiral. Recently it started with Smoochy from Death To Smoochy. If you've never seen it - it is a dark comedy with Edward Norton and the late Robin Williams with an additionally great cast to the likes of Catherine Keener, Danny DeVito, Jon Stewart, and Danny Woodburn. But I am basically an evolving Smoochy. Starting with first my come to Jesus (Or alien) moment within this industry that no matter the authority, as a creative, though I feel that my belief and understanding of what we should consume for the better should be considered, my job really..."is to just smile and nod my head..." Let's be honest - this pivot is a risk. I am banking on myself more than ever and leaning on individuals to be inspired and believe in their own brand to want to get on board for a bigger picture. Cutting out any "network"'s say. After my Smoochy spiral, I truly doubted my place. So asking for a sign - I went to an immersive magic show. Let's get weird. But a friend recently told me the universe creates noise that aims to pull you away from the moment when you're on the right path. As I am battling traffic and losing interest on heading to show, I sucked it up and barely made it in. From that moment on, I felt like it was all about me. The Visionary as he was called talked to me about The Universe, our place in it, what we want, and these strings we feel attached to. As I dove deeper down the rabbit hole, the acolytes began to tell me about being honest with yourself and what you want - despite money. What makes you happy here on this plane of existence isn't what you may necessarily think it is right now. Slow down, listen. Be honest with yourself. --- I was fucking leaning in yall. As we merged back with The Visionary, he does this final moment where he highlights our "offerings"... Leading up to it, he explains how numbers have meaning to people (I've talked about that). As he has us add our numbers up from a pre-screening - my birthday emerges from the total. My fathers card is pulled last from the offering. The words 'Chosen' appear on a wall and in a blink of an eye, they are rearranged to say 'He Cons'... NEVER have I ever felt so mind fucked. While that was a show - I was never expecting to be chosen but I was seeking some kind of a message not knowing what to expect from anything within the show and here it is.... my own internal struggle of this 'you know you are the one for this' vs 'imposter syndrome' - except it is plastered on a wall for all to see. LIFE. Truly as Dostoyevsky once said "At First Art Imitates Life. Then Life Will Imitate Art. Then Life Will Find Its Very Existence From The Arts." Since that evening, I have been leaning in to the universe. Random songs not only reminding me of moments but also playing at times that I need to know what I am doing is right or on a right path. A friend's movie suggestion sparking a muse moment for work. A random pop culture induced quote uttered at a time that provides just the right inspiration to proceed. I am listening. And I guess spitting it out there that if anyone else happens to feel sparked at times by something around them and believe it is some message from the universe. Again - I believe you. I am seeing/hearing them too... OR maybe we are both just crazy. .... The Journey Continues
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